Love

Day 13 – A thing or two about love

No. I am no Love Guru. I am just another young soul who has had her share of dreamy ideas for this ever so talked about four letter word. It has made to my blog often in different forms and yet here it is again, winning the spot for the day!

A few years back, I extravagantly used this word. Anything that felt good enough was the feeling of “Love” for me. I happily declared that I loved my friends, not liked them, but loved them. It was that simple. As I think about it now, I realize it is indeed that simple, only in a different way.

Amongst the numerous things that life has taught me, the most important one is the fact that there are only a few people in this world I can possibly love. I really cannot bring myself to feel that way for everybody. time_100writingdays

And eventually, for these people, I have come to understand the perfection behind their tiny imperfections and how even my simple day to day gestures seamlessly incline to suit and sync with them. I have actually surprised myself with the way my relationships have unfolded. I am happy, people around me are happy, and everything is good and beautiful as these are all two sided affairs. (Way to go!)

But, as always, there are a few complicated scenarios ( the quite so often “hanging in the air” ones! Sigh!), where there are so many strings attached, so much to do and say, yet not understood, or rather misunderstood, lack of time, ever so increasing distance, feelings shattered and hearts broken, or well, may be on the verge of it. I think everyone gets a fair share of one of these scenarios at some point or the other and even though the after effect to the very least, is not the end of the world, it does leave us a bit torn apart.

And pertaining to such situations, here’s my thing or two or rather a small pointer about love. I cannot say I have known the feeling completely, but I have survived and lived through a scenario where I was completely cut off from one person I love dearly, not because we were fighting but because there was no means of communication between us.

During those months, I could feel my love for him grow, in bits and bytes, in leaps and bounds. I started to appreciate his importance in my life like never before. Even more, I began to understand how much I had ignored what I have always had and instead cribbed about what I did not. His absence made me realize how lucky I was to spend those infinities together, which in turn, gave me a bucket full of memories, enough to cherish forever.

So, I started paying attention to the little things, decorating my moments with what I had,  cherishing every day with my special people and realizing how abundantly blessed I was.

Isn’t that is what love supposed to feel like?

A blessing so surreal that you float in happiness. A smile that flickers on your face out of nowhere. A feeling that makes your heart beat. A life that can breathe and thrive beyond words, beyond time and beyond distance. A moment that is forever. A ray of hope that brightens your world.

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Day 9 – F.A.M.I.L.Y.

There are some days which are meant to realize the greatest gift of our life, the gift of our close ones, people who are and who will be there by our side, always. I am not much of a family person, but there are a few people in my life, whom I look forward to meet every time. They just help me being who I am, just by being who they are. Compassionate. Loving. Welcoming. 🙂

It is my family I am talking about. We live together, we often have agreements and disagreements, but in the end, it is our love that keeps us so warm and welcoming towards each other. And slowly and steadily, with time, I have realized the importance of family in my life.

Our family comprises of the people we start and end our day with the selfless devotion we share for each other. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together.

We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayers. Every moment we spend together adds to the bond we share. Family relationships have taught me that Love is really spelled as ‘time’. 

And this is true for all relationships. Home is where all the learning begins from, the starting place which stands to define our roots. Precisely the reason for it being synonymous to peace. 🙂HappinessFamily_100WritingDays

“As you get older you find out that true happiness is not in how much you make or how many degrees you have or how big your house is or how fancy your car is. It is finding peace and joy and calmness in your life that will soon become the most important thing to you. Your family is what matters to you. Love is what matters to you. Things that are of quality, not quantity. “

 

Day 8 – The “1 minute” art

My friend told me this wonderful story about a performance artist, whose work mainly explores the relationship between performer and the audience, limits of the body and possibilities of mind. The story was about this artist, how she met another artist and how they both started working together and fell in love. They did wonderful pieces together but after some 10-12 years, they decided to call it off.

Their breakup, too, as dramatic as their work, was called “The Great Wall Walk”, wherein they walked towards each other from opposite ends of Great Wall of China, met in the midway, and said “Goodbyes”. It must have been one hell of a spiritual journey! Anyway, artists do stuff like that so I will let it pass.

The artists are by the way, Marina Abramovic and Uwey Laysiepen(Ulay).

In 2010, Marina performed The Artist Is Present, a 736-hour and 30-minute static, silent piece, in which she sat immobile in the atrium of Museum of Modern Art while spectators were invited to take turns sitting opposite her for a minute.

One of those “1 minute” retrospective interactions were so special that Marina had tears in her eyes and she held out her hands.

The person who received such a special reaction was no one but Ulay. They had not seen each other in 30 years, and as she opened her eyes, there he was!! And all I can think of after watching this video was what all she would have felt in that 1 minute?

The surprise of seeing him there, in front of her, the happiness and the fast forward flash of all the good times they have spent together. The desire to live this one minute as much as she could for the feelings in this particular interaction was way different than the others. The hope of seeing him again, which she would have buried deep down  must have surfaced and reassured her that life is indeed full of such wonderful surprises!!

And what about Ulay? I loved the way he reassured her with the gentle nod and blink of his eye. It was like the most beautiful gift, an “All the best” wish he had planned for her.

I won’t really call this one a love story. It is an art of sorts, in every possible way. A moment, to be precise, where you understand a human heart. You simply feel the connection and the emotion life presents two people with. The bond build over the years, reaped with love, scarred by some conflicts, dusted with the long break, perhaps healed with time. Sometimes, one minute is more than enough to live it again.

Just takes some LOVE to make it good

So, this usually happens when I have been stuck in some big shit, or been going through a messy life for a while. And all that while, on one hand I am a warrior fighting for something and on the other hand I have some lovely people for my support, who listen to all my whining and help me get out of that mess.

I want to dedicate this to them, to tell them how much I love them, how much their support has helped, without me even noticing it back then. Now when I look back, I realize that it was one of the important things which calmed me down when I was all lost and desperate to make matters worse.

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And when I come back to my senses, these are the people I run to celebrate with. These people who will dance with me in my joy and be crazy with happiness when I smile. Who deep down feel happy that I made it through and hope that our LOVE, this rather beautiful bond which makes hearts melt and humans sane, always keeps us together.

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And to all those people I would like to say,

Thank you so much my love. ❤  You are one of the special people in my life whom I would always cherish! Coz it just takes a little of you, to make me good.

Dedicate this to all those people who have made you feel good. Sometime. Anytime. Always. 🙂

Say it?

We are gifted with a lot of relations in this world but “Love” is one of the priceless emotions which one yearns to cherish.

It is said falling in love is fate. You dont know when, where or how you might fall for someone. It just happens and when you realise it..you actually feel on top of the world..indeed one of the amazing feeling of all..!


When you like someone, just being around that person makes your day…Everything around seems so damn good…so fresh and alive..and when that person responds the the way you expected..then your smile says it all!!


You dont realize that u’ve been wearing that weirdly stupid smile all day. You even fail to notice that today,inspite of ur expectaions u’ve been surprisingly cheerful after u’ve talked to, seen or met that particular person who was indeed the reason for ur smile. And very often this smile makes u feel special..and raises a lot of questions too..:P


Before going to sleep, you review your entire day and remind yourself of those “special” moments. When you wake up..you just get ready to meet that person. Its all natural and it just flows. Suddenly all your thoughts seem to belong to that one person. You are just not you anymore!!!


The tricky part, however, is when even after realizing that you have almost entered in a whole new world…you just want to stop yourself..! You like the change..and you slowly get used to it too even though you know very well that sooner or later its gonna hurt someone.


You get scared enough to listen to your heart and just try harder and harder to be what you are not anymore.


You are confused. You get irritated and then you ask opinions.


“Say It”..people say. Of course, no one will understand what you feel until you tell it to someone, and esp the one whom you want it to know. You should say it and let it out is what the popular opinion is.


But sometimes..its better to wait and let your feelings unfold with time…
Sometimes..even you need more time than you think….
Sometimes..words are not actually needed to express everything…
You feel it…..you believe in it and it’ll happen for sure…………..

A sweet feeling..



How amazingly sweet is to fall in love??


I am pretty sure I havent felt anything close to that..but sometimes..when I imagine any thing like that..I always end up in my own little fantasy world!!


The person who loves you knows the real you and he’ll accept that in a heartbeat! 
You just tend to be a cute little kid..and he the caring one…!
He will make you smile no matter whatever your situation was a moment ago..!
You’ll be angry..or appear to be so..whenever he doesnt take care of himself..and both of u know..you care way too much..!
Being there..just with each other..makes you forget everything..and u never want that moment to fade away……coz u know you are meant for each other!!!! 🙂

 

Love Yourself! :)

In this fierce competitive world, no one is ever contented with what they’ve got. Sometimes you tend to compare yourself with others..and often you tend to think that there is something wrong with you…


Lately I’ve realised that being inspired with someone is good..but losing your own self..your very identity in the due process of being someone you are not, trying to achieve something which is not meant for you..lands you in a place where the inner happiness is missing…


One thing which always helps me to get on the right track is when I realise my own importance. 
Thinking about what or why I did so..no use!  Thinking about what will happen next…no use! Yet..I do this often..
I “forgive” but usually I don’t “forget” …but then, I also accept the fact that as time passes by..even my memory tends to fade away the less important things..


The whole funda is “Love yourself”..trying to change yourself even though for your own good..is sometimes not possible.! Coz u can’t change the very trait of your personality..the very essence of YOU! 

No matter how clumsy, careless & undisciplined you are..no matter how organised, perfect & punctual you are…everyone has their own way of doing things. You do it best when it is done your way..;)


Learn to face life being you..it can be quite a task at times but when u do it…your way..the “I am what I am” feeling is really amazing! 🙂

Unconditional love!!

“Health is Wealth” – a very common saying..!  But if you consider it practically, at times you tend to lose some of this wealth. Your system breaks down often, like when you have fever..sometimes as high as 102-103 degrees fahrenheit! You feel dizzy and weak..and generally, people don’t have any idea about what is happening around them. (There are some exceptions though..I’ve seen people working all fine in that condition and I just wonder how they manage to do it..!! )

I experienced all this some time back..and the only thing I remember is..I woke up after a nap..did not have much idea about what was going around..went to my mom’s room where she was sitting on her bed..doing some work. I went to her, rested my head in her lap and in a split second she left whatever she was doing. She asked me how I was feeling..if I wanted to have something..but I didnt reply..!

The very next moment I realised her fingers ruffling through my hair..her sweet voice singing a lullaby to me..and then I smiled..:)


That amazing sense of security..the assurance that she will always be there for me..in every possible difficulty and unexplainable happiness..! Her unconditional love and affection, which is so pure that even God bows to it..the satisfaction and joy of just being there with her..all seemed to heal me! 

And that precious moment made me feel like the luckiest kid on earth…..!

Silence speaks…!!


Those unsaid words..those unexpressed emotions..my heart racing when you look straight into my eyes..i want to feel it all..


I imagine you there..we are with each other and I feel a strong series of emotions wondering what you are thinking at that moment..feeling as if you caught me red handed when you look at me and i was already staring at you..and the very next moment its as if your eyes are figuring me out. Then, for once..u got me…the real me! I just wish time could stop at that very instant..so that i can live it…a little longer..
I wake up then..the dream is over!


And one day I actually got to live that moment..When we were by each other’s side..
I wanted to keep talking..yet I preferred silence..
I wanted to listen to you..yet you offered silence..


Some people say that silence speaks more than words but at that moment anxiety was so much that I was unable to hear those words.I felt weird and  I wished that time should fly away instead of stopping because i felt uneasy..
And then it was over…the real one!


Nothing but silence prevailed between us. It sort of connected us..! Then after a while, it became a sweet memory..! 
And I wish for that moment again…the real one..!!!

What "SHE" feels- The other side…

The sweeter you are too me, the more I yearn for it..the more normal things get, the more complicated it feels..the more you talk to me, the more I think about you..why in the world am I in such a situation? I don’t want to admit the truth. The truth that I want you to hate me, I want myself to hate you-the person whom I liked so much once..& deep inside I think i still do!!


Its just it was so difficult to get to a place where I can ignore you but I keep on losing that position….I have been dawdling in this phase of my life..controlling my emotions, my heart..& I just don’t know what I want..I seriously don’t…!


I am uncertain..I feel all that I should not..why is it difficult to be myself with you? Why can’t you be just another guy for me when I am just another girl..? Just a friend..not much into your life..! Its hard for me to concentrate on other things….I am not able to think properly, one moment I am happy & suddenly I am again lost…!! I don’t wanna be a baby..I don’t want to be vulnerable..I can help myself..but its just your support that makes life so damn easy….without any hurdles..!


I often tell myself to look for a life without you…I believe I can do much better without you..aim higher..achieve more..but that is just for a brief time and then my heart makes me come back again & again………………………..