” October sky, prevailing high
With shorter days and longer nights
Cooler winds , warmer hearts
Festivities melting souls once apart. “
No. I am no Love Guru. I am just another young soul who has had her share of dreamy ideas for this ever so talked about four letter word. It has made to my blog often in different forms and yet here it is again, winning the spot for the day!
A few years back, I extravagantly used this word. Anything that felt good enough was the feeling of “Love” for me. I happily declared that I loved my friends, not liked them, but loved them. It was that simple. As I think about it now, I realize it is indeed that simple, only in a different way.
Amongst the numerous things that life has taught me, the most important one is the fact that there are only a few people in this world I can possibly love. I really cannot bring myself to feel that way for everybody.
And eventually, for these people, I have come to understand the perfection behind their tiny imperfections and how even my simple day to day gestures seamlessly incline to suit and sync with them. I have actually surprised myself with the way my relationships have unfolded. I am happy, people around me are happy, and everything is good and beautiful as these are all two sided affairs. (Way to go!)
But, as always, there are a few complicated scenarios ( the quite so often “hanging in the air” ones! Sigh!), where there are so many strings attached, so much to do and say, yet not understood, or rather misunderstood, lack of time, ever so increasing distance, feelings shattered and hearts broken, or well, may be on the verge of it. I think everyone gets a fair share of one of these scenarios at some point or the other and even though the after effect to the very least, is not the end of the world, it does leave us a bit torn apart.
And pertaining to such situations, here’s my thing or two or rather a small pointer about love. I cannot say I have known the feeling completely, but I have survived and lived through a scenario where I was completely cut off from one person I love dearly, not because we were fighting but because there was no means of communication between us.
During those months, I could feel my love for him grow, in bits and bytes, in leaps and bounds. I started to appreciate his importance in my life like never before. Even more, I began to understand how much I had ignored what I have always had and instead cribbed about what I did not. His absence made me realize how lucky I was to spend those infinities together, which in turn, gave me a bucket full of memories, enough to cherish forever.
So, I started paying attention to the little things, decorating my moments with what I had, cherishing every day with my special people and realizing how abundantly blessed I was.
Isn’t that is what love supposed to feel like?
A blessing so surreal that you float in happiness. A smile that flickers on your face out of nowhere. A feeling that makes your heart beat. A life that can breathe and thrive beyond words, beyond time and beyond distance. A moment that is forever. A ray of hope that brightens your world.
There are some days which are meant to realize the greatest gift of our life, the gift of our close ones, people who are and who will be there by our side, always. I am not much of a family person, but there are a few people in my life, whom I look forward to meet every time. They just help me being who I am, just by being who they are. Compassionate. Loving. Welcoming. 🙂
It is my family I am talking about. We live together, we often have agreements and disagreements, but in the end, it is our love that keeps us so warm and welcoming towards each other. And slowly and steadily, with time, I have realized the importance of family in my life.
Our family comprises of the people we start and end our day with the selfless devotion we share for each other. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together.
We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayers. Every moment we spend together adds to the bond we share. Family relationships have taught me that Love is really spelled as ‘time’.
“As you get older you find out that true happiness is not in how much you make or how many degrees you have or how big your house is or how fancy your car is. It is finding peace and joy and calmness in your life that will soon become the most important thing to you. Your family is what matters to you. Love is what matters to you. Things that are of quality, not quantity. “
My friend told me this wonderful story about a performance artist, whose work mainly explores the relationship between performer and the audience, limits of the body and possibilities of mind. The story was about this artist, how she met another artist and how they both started working together and fell in love. They did wonderful pieces together but after some 10-12 years, they decided to call it off.
Their breakup, too, as dramatic as their work, was called “The Great Wall Walk”, wherein they walked towards each other from opposite ends of Great Wall of China, met in the midway, and said “Goodbyes”. It must have been one hell of a spiritual journey! Anyway, artists do stuff like that so I will let it pass.
The artists are by the way, Marina Abramovic and Uwey Laysiepen(Ulay).
In 2010, Marina performed The Artist Is Present, a 736-hour and 30-minute static, silent piece, in which she sat immobile in the atrium of Museum of Modern Art while spectators were invited to take turns sitting opposite her for a minute.
One of those “1 minute” retrospective interactions were so special that Marina had tears in her eyes and she held out her hands.
The person who received such a special reaction was no one but Ulay. They had not seen each other in 30 years, and as she opened her eyes, there he was!! And all I can think of after watching this video was what all she would have felt in that 1 minute?
The surprise of seeing him there, in front of her, the happiness and the fast forward flash of all the good times they have spent together. The desire to live this one minute as much as she could for the feelings in this particular interaction was way different than the others. The hope of seeing him again, which she would have buried deep down must have surfaced and reassured her that life is indeed full of such wonderful surprises!!
And what about Ulay? I loved the way he reassured her with the gentle nod and blink of his eye. It was like the most beautiful gift, an “All the best” wish he had planned for her.
I won’t really call this one a love story. It is an art of sorts, in every possible way. A moment, to be precise, where you understand a human heart. You simply feel the connection and the emotion life presents two people with. The bond build over the years, reaped with love, scarred by some conflicts, dusted with the long break, perhaps healed with time. Sometimes, one minute is more than enough to live it again.
So, this usually happens when I have been stuck in some big shit, or been going through a messy life for a while. And all that while, on one hand I am a warrior fighting for something and on the other hand I have some lovely people for my support, who listen to all my whining and help me get out of that mess.
I want to dedicate this to them, to tell them how much I love them, how much their support has helped, without me even noticing it back then. Now when I look back, I realize that it was one of the important things which calmed me down when I was all lost and desperate to make matters worse.
And when I come back to my senses, these are the people I run to celebrate with. These people who will dance with me in my joy and be crazy with happiness when I smile. Who deep down feel happy that I made it through and hope that our LOVE, this rather beautiful bond which makes hearts melt and humans sane, always keeps us together.
And to all those people I would like to say,
Thank you so much my love. ❤ You are one of the special people in my life whom I would always cherish! Coz it just takes a little of you, to make me good.
Dedicate this to all those people who have made you feel good. Sometime. Anytime. Always. 🙂